Sooner or later many long distance relationships end up hitting that inevitable fork in the road. The point where you have to ask yourself if will you continue working on a romance with so many miles between you or if you will you go your separate ways and wish each other the best? Do you go on another couple of months and wait for the “spark” to return or do you keep venturing on your search for someone new. Sadly this is a problem that has plagued long distance relationships since the invention of long distance relationships but LUCKY for you I know how to fix it!
You have heard all of her stories. She has heard all of yours (although in yours you were a bigger stud, better athlete, and far richer than in real life but who says we can’t embellish now and then?). She asks you about your day and you ask about hers. You talk about your workday and your pain in the butt boss and she complains about her female coworker who was once her friend but is now trying to ruin her and take credit for her work (a complaint shared by 98% of women ever living anywhere in the world).You know she likes the color blue, hates relish, once wanted to be an actress and likes 80’s hair band heavy metal music …. now what? You, my friend are in a relationship rut. During the initial excitement of meeting someone we are flooded with a fury of emotions. We want to learn all about them, think about them often, wonder what they’re doing at random moments of the day. Your body is firing off feelings you haven’t felt in who knows how long and you never want it to end … and it doesn’t have to! In those early days of your relationship you were in the learning stage. Everything was new and you couldn’t wait to hear what was going to come out of her mouth yet. Conversations were flirty, passionate and well … fun. Who says they can’t still be?
At the beginning of your courtship you were happily sharing new experiences, possibly learning about her country, (I certainly hope you take the opportunity to learn more about where your lady love comes from if you do in fact ever plan on getting serious with her) learning to speak her language a little while trying to teach her some of yours. You sent random pictures to let her get to know you and she shared pictures of her apartment, the people in her neighborhood, her pets and so on. You LOVED getting to know her and letting her in on your world … until it felt like you had nothing new to share with her. The second you stop sharing those new experiences together and the flirting and anticipation of that next phone call turns into a routine “check in” done more out of habit than love, you can almost set a timer on your love. The good news is there is a simple solution.
So here’s the part where I blow you away with a tip so amazing you will ask yourself “why didn’t I think of that” … so here it is … DO SOMETHING! You see if you aren’t doing something then you are in fact doing nothing (thanks for the lesson Dad!) and if a relationship where you are living in the same house takes work then just think of what you should put into your long distance relationship. According to recent research a growing segment of American men over the age of 30 actually PREFER long distance relationships when looking for real, true love? Why is that? The distance between you may seem like a constant reminder of how far away your lapochka (look it up) is but think of the benefits that distance can bring to your budding relationship. You can now share experiences with your significant other in ways that you probably wouldn’t think of if she was a few miles away from you while sharing in new experiences. There is no right or wrong way to do this … each situation and relationship is different but as long as you are looking for new things you can do and share in together you are increasing your chances of dating success. For example:
1. Have a competition to learn a song, story, recite a poem, etc in each others native tongue. The first one to successfully complete the challenge earns a fun, low cost (or no cost) predetermined prize of their choosing.
2. Who doesn’t like a scavenger hunt? Ok so I admit this one may sound childish but when is the last time you took part in a scavenger hunt? Come up with a list of things you have to find and then “selfie” in front of said item. It’s a great way to have a little light hearted fun plus you get lots of pictures to show off to your buddies of your hot girlfriend.
3. Have a video date. Did you know that Dream-Marriage offers video chat as one of our services? Letters emails and phone calls are great but what could be better than having a video chat so you can see her laugh, smile and blush in real time? This one is a no brainer and has been instrumental in taking couples from the “middling” stages to the next level on more than one occasion.
4. Meet her in real life. Sometimes it isn’t boredom that dooms a relationship … it can be the realization that you may never see each other again (or in this case meet in the first place). Have you thought about visiting another country? Would you like to experience the cities, climate and people firsthand while immersing yourself in the culture? It’s probably more likely that the thought of that first kiss was almost enough to make you want to swim to your sweetie but whatever the reason what are you waiting for? Schedule a trip and see if those sparks you feel whenever you talk to her online are just as sparky when you meet in real life.
So that’s it. Will my solutions work for everyone? No. Will these scenarios apply to all couples? No. Do I ask myself a lot of questions and overuse parenthesis? Yes! Look it’s entirely possible that the luster has worn off your relationship because that strong attraction you felt when you first saw her has waned as you have gotten to know her and that’s ok. Sometimes things don’t work out for whatever reason but that doesn’t mean your search should come to a frustrating end. We have been creating marriages and long lasting relationship worldwide for over 11 years and while I don’t like to brag (ha ha) I have to admit we are pretty darn good at it. Keep looking and sending emails and with our expansive, ever growing database of beautiful ladies you are bound to find your next love right here on Dream-Marriage.