You Know You Have Been In Ukraine Too Long When

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You Know You Have Been In Ukraine Too Long When

“When in Rome, do as Romans do”

As the age-old adage would have it, whenever you venture into a strange land not your own, adapting to the ways of your host will only make your stay a more enjoyable one. What happens when perhaps you have stayed too long and not only picked up the more charming nuances of particular culture, but also the not so romantic habits? The results can make for some funny characters.

I can’t take credit for this list, but I will certainly highlight and share a few of the funnier ones from English Russia’s “You Know You Have Been In Ukraine Too Long When“. Of the 54 tell-tale signs that you have been in the Ukraine too long, here is our top 10:

10.) Every morsel of food you shove into your face is, first, doused in dill sauce, a creamy mayonnaise-based yogurt that goes particularly well with fish.

09.) Before boarding the train, you load up on boiled eggs and prepare a veritable picnic for a ride that my not even be more than a few hours long.
08.) You know full well the consequences of leaving your pretty Russian brides designer purse unattended on a table top or perish the thought, the ground! Fortunately, you’ve been in the Ukraine long enough to know, which flowers to get to make up for your ways.

07.) Nothing surprises you anymore. Even when something extraordinary does happen like stray dogs riding the subway, you simply shrug your shoulders and dismiss it saying, “eh it’s Ukraine.”

06.) Despite the fact you never really were much of a cook back in your home town, you now have your own patented recipe for “Good Old Borscht!“.

05.) Somehow, someway you have overcome your inability to remember casual acquaintances names and learned how to differentiate one Yulia from another in your phonebook.

04.) You have abandoned the practice of using articles like “the” and “a” – “Give me kiss, Yulia.”

03.)  The brillow pad-like abrasiveness of Ukrainian wait staff no longer chaffs your hide. Nowadays you find their service or lack thereof to be brilliantly funny as if it were part of some nouveaux dinner theater.

02.)  It took a while, but you finally learned how to say, “Dnipropetrovsk” [da*nee*poh*pi*trohfsk] without mangling your tongue into a gelatinous mess.

01.) Lastly and apparently the most significant caveat of all, you have been in the Ukraine long enough to master being able to smoke a cigarette in the cold while squatting. This squat is known as the “Ukrainian Chair”. If you can hold this squat position for more than two minutes, you my friend, have been in the Ukraine long enough to be considered a regular.

There are 44 other tell-tales to sort through along with some pictures to boot on the English Russia site. With the Euro Cup just around the bend (June 2012), people should definitely take a “before” and “after” picture to gauge just how much they have changed. If you plan on visiting the Ukraine in the near future, Dream-Marriage can sort you out with lodgings, transportation as well as a translator. Just visit our Apartment Rentals section.

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