What’s Up With the Short Letters?

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What’s Up With the Short Letters?

“I write long letters, pouring out my heart and soul to her yet when she writes back, it’s like she’s holding back. Why aren’t her letters like mine?”

So you threw all caution to the wind and decided to bear your soul to some special lady you met on our online dating network? Good for you, transparency is a trait in men that women of all walks of life respect and admire. If what irks you is the fact that she responded with a comparably shorter letter, consider yourself lucky. More oft than not, it is the response time that can wear a man’s nerves thin. “Did I scare her away? Did I tell her too much?”

In your case, you got a response, but it wasn’t the one you were expecting. The letter could have been short and sweet, but the fact that she didn’t fill up a journal has ticked you off a bit. Your reaction is perfectly natural. Having unloaded a bunch of emotional baggage, it’s only human to yearn for some sort of reciprocation to even out the playing field that is international dating. Before you go jumping to conclusions, there are a few things you should consider first:

It is difficult enough as is to build the fortitude to approach a woman you genuinely having feelings for, but when you throw in the dreaded language barrier, things can only get awkward. Although the Dream-Marriage online dating network has been retrofitted with state-of-the-art translation software, there are certain terms and words that will get lost in translation. Basically, no matter how evolved the tech, there are going to be some slang words that will slip through the cracks and make for some quirky exchanges. Speak plainly.

Are you questions too personal? Not everyone moves at the same speed when it comes to going through the paces of building a relationship. Messaging should not be a practice in interrogation. This isn’t Guantanamo Bay nor is this Spanish Inquisition. Drilling her with too many questions that burrow too deep can be misinterpreted as prying. Keep in mind, aside from a few mail correspondences you two have never met each other in person. You might as well ask her for credit card information by trying to dig into her deepest secrets.

The same can be said for volunteering what the internet has colloquially termed “T.M.I” or “too much information” – there really is such a thing. Don’t confuse sharing personal information with a turning your communiques into a confessional.

The same goes for sending racy pictures or yourself or lewd comments. Definitely do not expect any self-respecting Russian woman with any sort of values to cater to that behavior. Online dating should be approached the same way you would a woman in the flesh, up-close and personal. Before you drop that “witty” pick-up line your buddy dared you to say, imagine to yourself, “would she turn red with blush or fury?” Although she can’t slap or kiss you in person, your choice of words will be the difference between a future with her or having to look for the next one.

Granted, the world is not exactly flush with wealth. Pinching a penny here and there is completely understandable and, in certain situations, necessary. However, when it comes to online dating and messaging, trying to cram as many questions into one communique to save money may just back fire on you. The girl on the other end has no idea how much you are spending on messages. That is really none of her concern, but the fact that you are rifling away questions may come off as someone trying to take things too fast, which touches upon the previous two points.

Enough of the don’ts. How about some positives. Take things slow. Here are some tips to get the most out of your letter writing:

  • Take it slow. Don’t even think about discussing anything sexual within the first couple messages of online dating. Contrary to what many skeptics may think, Dream-Marriage is not that sort of site. Any members, who think otherwise and behave crudely, will be rooted out and banned.
  • Speak plainly. Although most of the single Russian women registered on the Dream-Marriage online dating network are above average intelligence, their English is not what one would consider fluid. As mentioned above, our translation software is fundamental, but is not equipped to keep up with slang and figures of speech.
  • Separate letters that contain lengthy descriptions, poems, or thoughts; from letters with important questions and information of which you want a direct response.

That pretty much sums it up. The rest is feeling the situation out for yourself and using your better judgment. Remember that we are here for you if you need us. Please do not hesitate to contact us should you need further assistance.

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